Slightly Suicidal Gadgets

"QUANTUM SHOT" #337
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A healthy doze of "black humor" to set you straight

Life is not always rosy, and it's not always black. Mostly it's featureless gray with rare splashes of absurd color.

If you deliberately "paint it black", though, you may not live long:

Cheer up, however... there may be someone who feels worse, much worse than you:

(image credit: ellustrator)

Some photographers do it for fun:

(image credit: Jan Saudek)

Headshot:

(image credit: Martin Gommel)

Some "musicians" play only for the (Sicilian) "family":

Some guns are made in a way that makes you wonder... -

Some gifts are morbid enough to make your skin crawl: this ax has been given as a prized award to one of the Stalin's secret police NKVD officers:

Here is the more recent "lethal" gadget:
Bathduck Suicide Device

It has a proper disclaimer, of course: "make sure you are making the right decision"

(image credit: Nicolas Gaudron)

If your thing is to stick your fingers into electrical sockets, there is a device for this, too (an adapter for fingers) -

(image credit: Artemi Lebedev)

Some kids play this kind of the "russian roulette" quite innocently:

But even they can become new Calvins and drive multitude snowmen to despair:

For those who ever felt slightly suicidal, here is a story, well-known on the internet, but spectacular enough to keep on record.

Ronald Opus's Puzzle

Don Harper Mills actually made up this story. But it should be true because it is so good:

"On March 23 the medical examiner viewed the body of Ronald Opus and concluded that he died from a gunshot wound of the head caused by a shotgun. Investigation had revealed that he must have jumped from the top of a ten story building with the intent to commit suicide. (He left a note indicating his despondency.) As he passed the 9th floor on the way down, his life was interrupted by a shotgun blast through a window, killing him instantly. Neither the shooter nor the decedent was aware that a safety net had been erected at the 8th floor level to protect some window washers, and that the decedent would not have been able to complete his intent to commit suicide because of this...

Further investigation led to the discovery that the room on the 9th floor from whence the shotgun blast emanated was occupied by an elderly man and his wife. He was threatening her with the shotgun and became so upset that he could not hold the shotgun straight. Therefore, when he pulled the trigger, he completely missed his wife, and the bullets went through the window, striking Ronald Opus instead.

The old man was confronted with this conclusion, but both he and his wife were adamant in stating that neither knew that the shotgun was loaded. It was the longtime habit of the old man to threaten his wife with an unloaded shotgun. He had no intent to murder her; therefore, the killing of Ronald Opus appeared then to be accident, as the gun had been accidentally loaded...

But further investigation turned up a witness that their son was seen loading the shotgun approximately six weeks prior to the fatal accident. That investigation showed that the mother (the old lady) had cut off her son's financial support, and her son, knowing the propensity of his father to use the shotgun threateningly, loaded the gun with the expectation that the father would shoot his mother. The case now becomes one of murder on the part of the son for the death of Ronald Opus...

Further investigation revealed that the son became increasingly despondent over the failure of his attempt to get his mother murdered. This led him to jump off the ten story building on March 23, only to be killed by a shotgun blast through a 9th story window.

The medical examiner closed the case as a suicide."

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