Thursday, February 1, 2007

WWII Nazi's Tank Manuals - unexpectedly hilarious!

"QUANTUM SHOT" #100


How to "blow'em all up!" and have some fun in the process.

War is supposed to be a serious business, right? Not according to German WWII technical writers who turned the thick, boring tank manuals for "Tiger" & "Panther" tanks into a "Popular Science"/"Playboy"/comic book combination. These juicy manuals proved to be so popular, that they were even translated into Russian and read throughout the Soviet Army tank corps. I could not find the Russian "link-jacked" versions, but here are a couple of genuine Nazi tank manuals, with full versions readily available on the net.

Tiger Tank Manual, 1943

Heavy Machinery, Military History

The German "Tiger" Tank was introduced in August 1942 and was at that time the most powerful tank in the world. The success of the Tiger was so profound, that no Allied tank dared to engage it in open combat. This psychological fear soon became to be known as "Tigerphobia". Drivers inside the tank, in the meantime could peruse the following instructions:

Heavy Machinery, Military History

Diving the "Tiger" is prestigious, just like driving a "Mercedes":
Heavy Machinery, Military History

Going by highway will get you as far as Berlin, but off-road you'll only get to Brandenburg - and it's going to take lots of fuel! -
Heavy Machinery, Military History

Good communication is essential for "having a good-time", as well as during wartime:
Heavy Machinery, Military History

You should care for tank shells, just as you care for your girl:
Heavy Machinery, Military History

Good aim is everything! -
Heavy Machinery, Military History

You have to be an artist at heart, to drive a tank:
Heavy Machinery, Military History

Aiming your shots right will bring down Ivan faster:
Heavy Machinery, Military History

When preparing to shoot, note how fast you're going:
Heavy Machinery, Military History

Take good care of your tank! Thousands of German workers toiled endlessly to make sure you get the utmost quality product, and as we know, German engineering does not come cheap:
Heavy Machinery, Military History
(source Egland)

"Panther" Tank Manual, 1942

Heavy Machinery, Military History

"Captured Panthers proved to be extremely popular vehicles among Soviet troops, who received them as rewards for extraordinary achievements in combat, and who sought to keep them in service as long as possible, contrary to regulations that captured Tigers and Panthers should not be repaired but abandoned and destroyed after mechanical failure. Even the humorous instruction manual for German Panther crews, called the Pantherfibel (Panther Primer), was translated into Russian and provided to crews of captured Panthers.
(according to this site)

Heavy Machinery, Military History
Heavy Machinery, Military History
Heavy Machinery, Military History
Heavy Machinery, Military History
Heavy Machinery, Military History
Heavy Machinery, Military History
Heavy Machinery, Military History
Heavy Machinery, Military History
Heavy Machinery, Military History
Heavy Machinery, Military History

(the full manual is located here)

American soldiers could enjoy their own version of technical humour:

Heavy Machinery, Military History

and only dead-serious Communists refused to spice up the "T-34" manuals with pictures of pretty Komsomol members.

Sources: WorldWar2Aces, Egland, 3DModels

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Category: History,Weird, Military

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