We Dare You to Play These Scores!

"QUANTUM SHOT" #124


...although it may be hazardous to your mental health

Best just to frame them as a poster and look at them (feeling grateful that your life is not nearly as complicated as they are). To order the prints, contact FaeriesAire. Click to enlarge for better detail:



This is "Faerie's Aire And Death Waltz" (from "A Tribute To Zdenko G. Fibich") composed (or rather, feverishly authored) by John Stump (read this Wiki article for more info)

Note such performance highlights, as
"add bicycle"..."begin to fall"..."gradually become agitated"..."remove cattle from stage"..."RELEASE THE PENGUINS!" and "balance your chair on two legs"

Not the same composer, but similarly mad score:
(click to enlarge)


"String Quartet No. 556(b)
for Strings In A Minor (Motoring Accident)"
Courtesy Bryan Higgins

Don't forget to "leap over cellist", and make "glissando using tip of nose".
It comes with helpful advice: "if arm falls off, re-attach and play much slower",
"shock therapy may be necessary to finish"...
Also, notice the fine print: "Really big notes do not exist", and the 23/4 measure (officially unplayable)

Thanks to the good folks from Metafilter, here is another bizarre score:
Atushi Ojisama and Ijigen Waltz


"Lament of the Introspective Turnbuckle", by Andrew Fielding
(dedicated to a swimsuit model, and played by... blondes?)


Source: Bryan Higgins



Sylvano Bussotti (1931～) Sette Fogli "Mobile-Stabile per Chitarre, Canto e Piano"

Helicopter String Quarter by Karl Heinz Stockhousen, found here



Another one:


via

We invite you to explore this page. There are too many weird musical pieces to mention. (via MusicThing)

In case you wondered "How to play Elise":


A rather primitive presentation of "Stripsody" by Cathy Berberian:



source

If your brain overheats trying to figure out how to play all that, we suggest you take a break and head for the mountains instead.




CONTINUE TO PART 2 OF THIS ARTICLE! ->

Permanent Link...
Category: Humour,Music

Religion Can Be Funny!

"QUANTUM SHOT" #123


Nuns, guns and seminary girls.










If these girls ever become brides, they keep the habit



Other religious self-defense:



I know, I know, there is a full-year calendar out there called "Nuns Having Fun" - but it looks like they missed a few pictures:
(this will go well together with my previous post "The Best of Church Humour")


thanks Foxtongue








trying to walk on water:



playing groovy church music:



bumping into each other:





relaxing at home:



Nuns chilling out:
... with icecream

Photo by Iman


... on a rink



Photos by AlwaysAwake





And we finish with the strange "Nun/Darth Vader" toy:
(Photo by Enacoid)



Permanent Link...
Category: Funny Pics
Related Posts:
The Best of Church Humour

Rare Look Inside the Largest Crane & Container Ships

"QUANTUM SHOT" #122 Link - by Avi Abrams A world record weightlifting in its class. 1600 metric tons. They are "crane ships": jumbo vessels with installed cranes, designed to serve Mecha-Godzillas, hmm... no, load containers, assist in offshore construction and lift various heavy loads. Dutch company JumboShip makes some outstanding vessels of this kind (first two photos): Photographer Patrick Savalle had a rare opportunity to visit MV "Jumbo Fairpartner". With his exclusive permission, we publish the pictures he took in and around the ship, with some especially humbling shots of huge shipping cranes loading containers and even train cars into the gaping maw of the hold... Jumbo Crane Ship Heavy weights (great for exercize): (all images copyright Patrick Savalle, used by permission) ------- 2. Welcome Aboard: One of the Largest Container Ships Ever wondered what the view from the cabin of a crane operator looks like? - (all images copyright Patrick Savalle, used by permission) Additional credit: part of this series was published in VK Magazine READ THE WHOLE SERIES HERE -> Share Tweet Share->