Kitchen Tech for Geeks

"QUANTUM SHOT" #34

Something is brewing in the kitchen, and it's not just coffee

P. Erdos once said that "A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems". We can safely substitute "mathematician" with "writer", "theorems" with "stories", and so forth. We all subsist on coffee (some on espresso only).
Check out this winner of the espresso machine design competition:

Unfortunately, that particular design haven't been picked for production yet. Hopefully manufacturers will soon realize which style we'd rather prefer, instead of the usual boxy models.

You've smelled the espresso, came into the kitchen and switched on the lights. These could be some weird lights, like this (from Electric Stuff) "two-way" lamp.

then you turn the water tap (check out this illuminated tap, which changes its color with the water's temperature ... from Equasystem)

Seemingly easy task to light the burner may turn into a problem, if...

- you are confused about "fire / water" side of things (more pics here).

Or the matches suddenly get a wish to live, rather than perish:

then you can set the timer by placing a rat (or a sleepy hamster, depending if you are in a hurry or not) into a special rat-race clock (good for your office meditations, too):

Source: here

For those of us with ADD, stirring the pot could get mighty boring. Rats will not stir the pots for you, but the battery-operated "Stir-Chef" will. Just attach it to the pot, and program it to do continual or occasional stirs. If the dish do not seem to come out right, program it to swing the pot contents out of the window.

You don't need to watch the eggs to cook any more, either. The Smart Egg will display the ink drawings only when the egg reaches the desired temperature.

If you recently read one of the Lovecraft's Cthulhu stories, you might be in the mood for this device:
The Octodog Hot Dog Shaper
It makes squids and octopi of all shapes and any number of appendages for your hot dog eating pleasure.

Observe the shape of this sleek device and try to guess what's it for...

Hmm, well, this is the ultimate wine bottle cork opener. The new and improved Venus Rechargeable Automatic Wine Bottle Opener will extract the cork and spit it back out. (in fact, 40 corks in a row, on a single charge, - just don't point it at anybody.)

Another mystery kitchen appliance:

No guesses yet of what it does?
This is the ultimate Lobster Electrocuter!
If you don’t like your lobster boiled alive or killed in any other inhumane fashion, (they are usually either drowned in fresh water before cooking or stabbed to death), you can close the lid and press the button on this "CrustaStun Lobster Killer". Just don't confuse it in the dark with a copier, for goodness sake!

As for the preparing (or pre-killing) poultry, now you can shoot the birds with the special flavored ammunition in your rifle - the bullets stuffed with spices and seasonings. It goes like this: shoot the bird, put it in the oven; "The Seasonshot" then will melt as the bird cooks, suffusing the meat with whatever flavor you have chosen. Read more about this efficient way of cooking at SeasonShot

I'd like to get this for my kitchen - A Transparent Toaster! Very stylish... may even artistically burn a picture of your favorite saint on the toast's surface, and automatically submit it to Ebay via its built-in wireless capability.